whats new with me?
I dyed my hair black. I got sick of the murky brown it was. I am colombian already, don’t need an overkill with the brown. brown eyes brown skin brown hair brownbrownbrown. jeez. Plus, I think my eyes stand out more because of my darker hair. C’monnnn, you know how I feel about that shit. I also cut my hair too, I think you’d like it. Everyone else does.
I finally finished the stupid Early Start math bullshit my school was having me take, because I suck at math. lol. Passed science and English with beautiful flying colors, but nooooo not math. So yeah, I dooooo guess its my fault I was too lazy to study beforehand, but at the same time the class was retarded as fuck. Totally not necessary, but whatever. Its done. YESSS. Such a waste of day light and fucking brain cells. Its not like I didn’t know the shit in that class already. Theres a HUGE difference between being LAZY and being STUPID.
Although being lazy sometimes makes you feel dumb as shit, like being in that class just for being lazy…
I don’t know if you remember, but I work at a taxi dispatching company? Yeah, quit that. I really just can’t do the crazy hours and drunk people calling all the fucking time and the drivers hounding you to give them people to pick up. Like, I can pull random passengers out of my ass or something. If I could do that, I am sure I would be way rich somewhere making some very exotic fetish porn. Not answering some old smelly phone in a janky office, getting paid 9 under the table. Just wayyy too stressful. Plus, no offense, but indian people are fucking nuts. And they never pay as much as they’re supposed to. The indians I worked with anyways.
And babygirl needs her money. $ <3 $
Lets see, what else…I haven’t dated anyone but I have been fucking. Like a 19 year old should. A lot. Idk. I just rather have sex instead of muddle in messy relationship bullshit. Plus, you can fuck your friends and still stay friends. At least, thats what better happen.
I am starting on my stupid diet/exercise shit again. I have to. havetohavetohaveto. The time for being stoned and lazy is over hahaha now just to be stoned and on top of shit. I am a pretty functional stoner from what I’ve seen, but I got to start stepping it up. Hellllllaa. I will absolutley not slip up shit when it comes to school. If it comes down to it, I will stop smoking and doing everything if it starts to affect my grades. I used to be able to throw everything away for a good night, but not anymore. I just really want to be a doctor, I guess.
All of my friends romances are falling into place…which I think is cute and all, but really hard to watch knowing that a few of my friends are having the exact bitter opposite. I mean, I’m happy for the loooooove spoooooooshing out this fall, but it makes me anxious too. Because my friends are all fucking floozies, fucking and larping around, doing drugs and trying to live in Northern California, year 2012. Which means, in all reality, real serious relationships never really go down up here. And no one dates in our group anymore. Well, we all say that but it ends up happening anyways………….ugh.
So as yay as I am about everything, I know its all going to hit the fan hella hard in a few. Not too excited. But, to my friends, good luck mates<3
Went to santa cruz twice this past week, wait no three times. To our friends house and get high on the beach, and the other time because I lost my keys BECAUSE I was high. And thank god I found them, because those bitches cost almost 300 fucking dollars to replace. Staple your keys to your forehead before you smoke or drink. Especially really expensive-to-replace-ones.
I am going back to SC again this weekend I think. A love of mine wants to go trip there for her first time, and it would be dumb of me not to go and see her through. I am probably going to drop too, everyone knows I’m quite psychonaut. I already know what I am going to wear and what music I’m going to have ready. This will be the second to last time I do acid. Once more with another love of mine, and then school starts soooo, nothing else but marijuana (if even that). I know I’ll go crazy if I let go too much. hahaha.
Now whats left on the Agenda is drop 30-40 pounds, find a new job, get ready for school and my BIRTHDAY. You remember, right? November 28 (;
I still think about you. Time to time. I imagine we get close to running into each other a lot, in some way or form. Like, its such a small world that neither you or I could be a couple houses away from each other and never know. Or maybe a couple life choices away from being crazy for each other again. But maybe its better that way, not knowing how close you are. Because having you near drives me crazy and I can’t think straight. I don’t make good choices and I just fucking don’t think period. You always said it was a good thing, but I think you know that you do it and you just don’t care soooo youuuuu caaaaan gooooo fuck yourself. lol.
But honestly, I do hope I see you soon. Not too soon, but soon enough. Fall out of the sky and into my life or something. I know we both fucked up, but I don’t just want to end it like that. And I hope, over time you see why I did what I did (especially dating the monster I was), and why I should’ve done different. And also, maybe you forgive me, too.
I want to hear more about you, its been too long, I think. And there’s something about you that always makes me feel like someone pushed my reset button, makes me feel lucid and awake.
I’m due for a wipe out.
Love you oceans,
P.S. Its going to rain here soon. And I promise that when it does, the first drops are for you.